Stabilising
by Fact Vs Fiction
Summary: "We're all the same underneath." "What's that?" "Obnoxiously curious." Roy wants to learn. Edward is happy to teach. They both get more than they ever bargained for. AU. Rated M. See Chapter warnings.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Stabilising

 **Author:** Fact Vs Fiction

 **Rating:** T

 **Pairing:** Roy/Ed, Others

 **Disclaimer:** Not mine. Not even a little bit.

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"Are you going to stand there all day?"

Roy jumped at the words, but there was no real malice from the blonde bent over the stone floor. He hadn't even looked up, eyes still flickering across the curves and angles of the chalk as if he had never spoken.

"You've been watching all week."

It was a statement, not a question, and Roy didn't bother answering it.

Seemingly satisfied with what he'd produced the young man leaned back on his hunkers, cuffing his cheek and accidently streaking chalk across it.

He looked up, finally, golden eyes meeting charcoal for a moment before glancing back at the array he was repeatedly drawing and scuffing out, mind wandering back to the symbols.

As if scolding himself he snapped his attention back to the flame alchemist, who levered himself off the door and approached, hunkering down beside the other man.

"Why not sit at a desk?" He asked, genuinely curious. This was basic research, he could do it on paper, would probably be better off doing it on paper, less likely to miss or lose things...

"Old habit." Ed admitted. "Hohenheim used to draw on the floor. My mum used to give out stink about the amount of trees he killed on a day to day basis if he didn't… She did the same to me, after he left. It's easier, to just transfer what's useful, and…"

He trailed off and Roy found himself interested.

"And?" He prompted.

"Well I'm right handed." Ed admitted with a shrug of his metal shoulder.

It hit the Colonel like something physical it was so obvious. He'd never thought about it before.

"Winry is amazing, but fine motor function just isn't recoverable with automail. You can't feel enough to be gentle. It ends in a lot of snapped pencils."

The blonde smiled easily.

"You write left handed." Roy said.

"It's actually genuinely easier. It does explain my rubbish handwriting though."

He shrugged again before changing the subject.

"You've been hanging around all week."

Roy felt the curl of irritation but let it go. Fullmetal had said nothing but the truth.

"I have." Roy agreed levelly.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"Yes you are." Ed countered with a shake of his head and a curve of his lip. "We're all the same underneath."

"What's that?"

"Obnoxiously curious. We're all scientists. Some of us just sold our souls to military rank." He said with a wry smile.

Roy said nothing.

"You're here because you want to learn. When's the last time you did any actual research?"

It was years ago, he admitted to himself if not the blonde. He'd mastered flame alchemy and just… stopped.

Life had taken over…

"You know most the people in this building have forgotten that you can cast anything beyond flame. I've only seen you do it a handful of times. You're good though, you draw well. You probably already know that somewhere in there though."

"Not as good as you."

Ed smiled a little sadly.

"I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." He admitted, making Roy look up in shock.

"You probably know quite a lot about that sentiment."

Roy nodded slightly.

"It isn't worth it, for what it costs. Nothing is ever quiet in here." He touched his temple absently with his automail fingertips and not for the first time Roy was floored by the fact that Edward Elric had grown up right under their noses.

It was so sudden… One day there was a child, the next a man. As if overnight, despite the fact that Roy knew they'd all just missed it. Fullmetal was twenty one now. Not a child. Not even a teenager. A young man.

His eyes though… They were ancient… Edward had seen and done enough for three lives already. The secrets they held though, the knowledge… Roy wanted to touch it. Reach out and _feel_ it. His curiosity, the scientist in him thathe'd attempted to smoke out, knew Edward Elric held the answers to the hundreds of questions he'd asked as a child, as a young man, and set aside.

"I can teach you, if you like." Said Ed, shocking him back to reality. "I know it's not ideal, you outrank me, but…"

He shrugged again, eyes wandering back to the array. His picked up the chalk absently, snapping it between metal fingers almost immediately but holding on to the pieces in what could only be described as a practiced movement as he scribbled another formula on the stone without even looking, mind miles away.

Yes. Roy decided.

He wanted to learn.

Desperately.

"Teach me." He said quietly.

Ed offered him a hint of a smile, giving Roy his full attention at last.

"What am I trying to do here?" He questioned, putting down his chalk.

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He was excellent.

Ed had to give it to the bastard, even knowing he was brilliant he'd not expected this level of command from the dark haired Colonel.

It had been rusty to start. Skills left unused, unstretched. Rules left unacknowledged under a fine layer of dust in his thoughts.

It was coming back though, steadily, and Ed knew without a shadow of a doubt that Mustang as a kid? He hadn't been all that far from Ed himself.

Obsessive. Confident. Competent.

 _Thirsty_.

But then, anyone with the drive to master an element like Mustang had had to be thirsty.

Ed had never really been taken with the elements to be honest. He'd dabbled… He knew the basics, that if he were to learn properly he would need to focus on the air. That mastering anything like that took power, perseverance and a decent dose of stupidity for even risking it in the first place.

No. They weren't all that different in some ways.

In others though, they were like night and day.

There were two things that drove an alchemist, in Edward's opinion. Power and curiosity. It was the mix of these two things that built the alchemist. Roy Mustang craved power, and his curiosity was used to fuel that craving. It was unsurprising, he was the flame alchemist after all, and elemental alchemy was the epitome of power.

Edward on the other hand was a scholar, who happened to be gifted with an incredible power. Curious. The researcher. Unconcerned with talk of power and influence. Together they were an excellent team, they both knew that. The best teams were always opposites. The power hungry to make sure the research was relevant, and the curious, to drive it forward.

Edward was genuinely looking forward to seeing what they could do together.

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Two weeks had passed since he'd offered to teach his superior officer. Little had changed during the day. Ed still spent every spare moment scribbling between cases, Roy still attempted to navigate the stacks of paperwork and led his squad. They still fought like cat and dog, yelled and screamed.

But now, afterhours, they passed their time together in peace.

Truth told Roy knew, the gift he was being given. To learn from Ed was to learn from the very best. Prodigy didn't even begin to cover what the man was anymore. He was the best alchemist in the country, flesh hand tied behind his back and blindfolded.

It was effortless to Ed, as easy as breathing.

And he was selfless in his teaching.

Roy expected him to keep a certain amount from him, to hoard his knowledge. It was only fair… Alchemists were a terribly secretive bunch and Roy couldn't even begin to imagine the secrets Ed held close.

But he didn't.

Fullmetal taught him everything, from the most basic of designs to the genius Mustang knew he'd never in his life be able to cast.

And it felt so good…

Learning, exploring, made his soul sing in a way it hadn't since he was a very young man. Nobody knew what they were up to, but his whole squad had seen the difference and commented. Jean wanted to know who the lucky woman was. He knew Edward found that hilarious. He'd taken to posing and pouting behind everyone's backs when it was mentioned much to the Colonel's irritation.

Hawkeye knew, he suspected. Riza always knew, when it came to him. She'd seen too much of him as a young man. Too much of that thirst for knowledge to mistake it for anything else. She'd simply smiled. Whether or not she knew who his teacher was he was unsure, but unconcerned either way. Riza was one of the few who knew enough to understand that knowledge was power, and that the source of that knowledge did not always play to military norms.

She'd likely guessed immediately.

Roy returned his attention to the form in front of him, mentally chiding himself for his wandering thoughts. These late classes with Edward had had an unexpected benefit. His work ethic had improved greatly.

If he didn't do his paperwork in a timely manner he didn't get to go to his session.

Hawkeye may or may not know the cause of his new drive but she wasn't above exploiting it for a second.

Roy was okay with that.

Pressed, he'd admit at least to himself that he was the steadiest he'd been in years. In his work, in his research, in his life in general.

Focus, Hawkeye called it.

He had focus.

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 **A/N:** So this is the first thing I've published in… more than a while. It's also my first foray into the world of FMA. I have about 80,000 words of this written and so far. Nothing is beta'd and this wasn't written to be a piece of literature, just mild entertainment. That being said I hope you enjoy it. The first arc of the story is a case arc, and it takes off immediately come next chapter. It comes with a fairly hefty set of trigger warnings that earn this story its rating. I'll lay out the trigger warnings at the start of each chapter so no fears there.

Let me know what you think. Reviews = Motivation!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here's chapter 2! At the end of the last chapter I promised you warnings at the start of this one! This chapter and those that follow it deal quite intensively with hate crime. There's also mention of rape and torture (case related), and a bit of a knock at organised religion. Considering the subject matter and the characters involved you can expect some bad language. If any of these things offend you you probably shouldn't read this.**

 **Onwards!**

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 **Chapter 2:**

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"What do you think?" Asked Ed, shocking everyone. His eyes were narrowed, concentrated. He'd already drawn his conclusion but it was ambiguous, Roy's own was too, and he said as much.

"Can't be sure." Roy muttered. "But given our location… I'd say it was probably a restraining array."

Edward grimaced in agreement.

"I think so too." He offered. "There's more though… These characters… there's something sinister about them. They're familiar but I can't place them."

"I've never seen them before." Roy offered, aware that no information was some information in the timeline Ed had come across these. It hadn't been in the past four months.

"Stand back?"

Everyone did as they were told, and Ed carefully poked the array, making it glow ominously but remain inactive.

A shiver ran the length of his spine. It made Roy shiver in response. There was nothing good in that shiver.

He nodded to Roy, whose face tightened.

"What is it?" Jean asked, uneasy. The cryptic conversation between the two alchemists combined with the shadowy claustrophobic alley had him on edge.

"It was used in a rape." Said Roy quietly.

"Someone…"

"Someone held another human being down using alchemy and raped them." Roy agreed.

"It's worse than that." Said Ed softly.

"How so?"

"I get it now." He said unhappily. "There's a double binding… One for the physical body… the second for something… more abstract."

Roy didn't like where this was going, at all.

"Not virginity." He had to voice it. Had to.

Everyone winced.

"That was my first thought." Ed agreed. "It's not right though… The symbol for innocence is inverted… And there's nothing relating to a child, or one, no mention of the female form…"

He ran his hand along the array again, an inch above it, not touching, just tracing.

This set here." He motioned to three circles within a larger. "I think this is primary… First."

"It's linked in with the inverted innocence."

"Is it definitely sexual?" Asked Riza, hand still on the butt of her gun. She was as rattled as Havoc though she'd never _ever_ admit it.

Both alchemists nodded mutely.

"I don't get it. How do you take someone's innocence a second time?" Asked Jean.

Both alchemists froze suddenly, coming forcefully to the same conclusion all at once.

"No mention of the female form." Said Roy quietly.

"Inverted innocence? That's coming back to scripture." Said Ed. "To sin."

"What's going on?" Asked Breda, not liking the sudden silence.

"It's men." Said Roy quietly. "Straight men." He qualified.

"You mean?"

Falman, Jean and Breda winced immediately at the implication.

A second virginity…

"They're…" Falman trailed off, looking ill.

"They're sodomising." Ed offered, making everyone wince for an entirely different reason. The blonde shot them a warning look.

He was not a child.

"Fullmetal. What are they taking? Is this…?"

"I don't think it's supernatural." Ed offered. "I think it's a symbolic take… They're taking their victim's control, but not anything of their soul or spirit, at least not willingly."

"So you're saying…"

"It's a run of the mill rape, with an alchemist that has a sick sense of humour. This circle is positively mocking, it's restraining the victim, but the nuances…" Said Roy.

Ed frowned unhappily.

"He's making it as easy on himself as possible." He offered up. "They cann't fight, won't struggle, won't… won't tear… He's making them the perfect rag dolls."

Havoc blanched, ghostly pale.

"You're sure it's a man?" Asked Riza.

"Yes." Said Roy, surprising Ed. He hadn't thought he'd seen. "I doubt you could so much as step into the array Hawkeye." He pointed at a symbol. This is masculine power. Most alchemy edges towards feminine, it's easier to draw with…"

"Whoever drew this is rejecting the female form in its entirety."

"Oh…"

"What do we do?"

"There isn't much we can do." Said Roy pinching his brow. We need more than one, to distinguish style. They left no evidence biologically. I suspect the victim survived it actually."

"That array isn't about killing." Ed offered. "And Colonel bastard is right. There's nothing we can do as of yet."

"Shall we wipe it?"

Ed shook his head.

"Leave it for now. We'll shield it. I'll probably want another look."

Roy nodded, bending reaching into his pocket for a piece of chalk. He drew quickly before transmuting a powerful stone shield across the array.

He rose, placing the chalk back in his pocket and ignoring the stunned looks he was getting. Ed's lips twitched as the silence began to annoy the older man.

"For truth's sake I'm capable for a simple shield." He bit, shocking them all back to life as he turned on his heel.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hawkeye raise a questioning eyebrow to Ed, who just shrugged with a twitch of his lip.

"Lets get out of this dump." Jean muttered. "Penises as weapons. Fucking pisses me off!" He punched the closest wall in temper.

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"You saw it too, didn't you?" Asked Ed, having closed the door and flopped sideways into the visitor's chair in front of the Colonel's desk untidily.

"That it practically had I'm a state alchemist written all over it?"

Ed nodded, sighing and reefing a hand through his hair, forgetting he'd plaited it that morning and catching his fingers.

He huffed impatiently.

"Not a very old one."

"Newbie." Ed muttered in agreement. "Still stupid enough to play with military seals when-"

"Everyone knows they're just a way of keeping an eye on what we're doing." Roy finished. "This is probably a good example of why they're warranted."

"Bastard." Ed muttered, freeing his fingers.

"More bad news for you Fullmetal." He handed over the communication he'd just opened.

Ed groaned at what he was reading.

"Court martial? Are they serious?!"

"Gruuman is pulling out the stops. I suspect they're serious. Nobody knew if you were going to stay after the promised day." Roy admitted. "And nobody wanted to put a child in military uniform. It saved you for another year or so."

"And now I'm done for."

"If you're going to be a state alchemist you have to dress like one Fullmetal. You aren't a child anymore."

Ed blew out his cheek in annoyance but held his tongue, one of the most obvious signs of how far he'd come. While they still argued, _loudly_ , over petty things, Roy knew it was just for fun at this point. In a serious situation like this there was no fun in fighting.

"My mother will roll in her grave." Said Ed quietly.

"As I suspect mine did too Fullmetal. As I suspect most our mother's did with the reputation the military alchemists had. Work to change."

Ed nodded grudgingly.

"Blue is not my colour."

Roy barked a laugh.

"At least Hohenheim will be howling, ne?" Said Ed, a small smirk tugging his lips up.

"If that makes it better." Said Roy. "You really aren't going to fight me on this?" He arched an elegant eyebrow.

"I'm keeping the coat."

Roy sighed but held his tongue. Resistance was futile. This was already going a million times better than anticipated.

"You can keep the coat."

"Can I have that in writing Colonel?"

"Don't push your luck, Fullmetal."

Ed's smile was almost fond in return.

They fell quiet.

"There's one thing we never checked with that transmutation circle." Ed broached eventually.

"I know." Said Roy. "The reason you stopped me destroying it earlier no doubt."

"It could be a key piece of the profile." Said Ed scratching his head. "If he's only targeting straight men it's a big part of why he's doing this."

"We need a gay man to step into it. No doubt you've guessed?"

"Why you didn't volunteer? Probably much the same reason I didn't." Said Ed with a careless shrug.

Mustang's jaw fell open in shock.

He'd had absolutely _no_ idea.

Ed's eyebrows rose.

"You genuinely didn't know did you? I just assumed you'd come to the same conclusion I did."

Roy opened and closed his mouth but couldn't find the words.

Ed grinned.

"Relax. It's fine. I'm assuming you'll be as careful with that information as I will?"

Roy nodded immediately. Being discovered homosexual was a sure fire way to end anyone's military career. It happened, and it wasn't mentioned most of the time, but Flame and Fullmetal? If it got out about either of them it was instant scandal. That didn't sound particularly appealing and neither of them would ever progress up the ranks… That was just how it was.

"I give you my word, Edward. It never leaves this room."

"I require no more Colonel, and give you the same in return."

"Since it's all on the table now…"

"One of us should probably take that array for a spin." Ed agreed.

"I'd feel more comfortable if it was me." Roy admitted.

Ed nodded. That array was tricky. In the situation that one of them got stuck it was better Ed the one free to fix the problem, Roy could accept that.

"Lets get a move on. Before it's dark." Said Ed decisively.

Roy watched him stride out the office door, all purpose, still slightly stunned. He rubbed his face, trying hard to get his mind around what had just happened.

He must have sat there for too long, because Edward stuck his head back around the door.

His smile was understanding. He knew he'd thrown Roy for a loop despite his own lack of surprise. He supposed he was at an unfair advantage there. He knew the character traits he'd used to judge the Colonel dated from opinions formed in childhood. He'd associated the Colonel's perceived promiscuity in a heterosexual sense with general sexual promiscuity.

The idea that Roy Mustang may have slept with a man at some point wasn't nearly as shocking as it should have been because of that, and probably not even close to the idea that his notoriously private major might be gay.

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 **A/N: Review**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: All warnings from the previous chapter apply.**

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"Well holy shit." Said Jean, following Riza's line of sight. She'd stopped talking suddenly, mouth opening slightly in shock.

Breda turned to look and laughed.

"Will shit! When did the shorty grow up you guys?!"

Ed growled as he approached them, lifting a fist and cracking it off Breda's head to a howl of pain.

"One more word." He warned darkly.

"How the hell did the Colonel manage to get you into uniform?" Asked Havoc amused.

"He didn't, don't give that bastard credit." Said Ed grudgingly.

"Now now Fullmetal. Whose idea did you think it was to get Gruuman to court martial you?"

"WHAT!?" Ed roared.

Roy just smirked as the younger man proceeded to blow his top. It was familiar and eased the atmosphere in the office, which had been pretty poor since they'd returned from the crime scene the previous day.

Roy watched him as he paced like a cornered lion, amused.

Hell he could pull it off, Roy acknowledged privately. Some people looked good in uniform, others didn't. It had a lot to do with how one held themselves in it. Fullmetal… He looked damn hot, if Roy was honest. It was no massive secret that Fullmetal had found himself one of the most eligible bachelors in central since he'd come of age and that uniform was not going to help him in his quest for singledom. He may look like normal hotheaded Fullmetal now but Roy had caught a look at him as he came into the office, calm and collected. He'd been a rather striking sight.

Roy gently tipped Hawkeye's jaw back into place with a finger making her blush scarlet.

"Now now Hawkeye. You know the fraternisation policies." He murmured so only she could hear.

She flushed harder and glowered at him momentarily before straightening her face.

Ed caught his eye, raising an amused brow as if to say I saw that.

The amused glance in return was fleeting, but Riza saw it, narrowing her eyes. While she knew it was good for both of them to be communicating better she wasn't so sure she liked them teaming up on her like this, it was rather intimidating.

Even now, after essentially growing up with the flame alchemist, she was still floored by him sometimes… And Edward… Well, he was just blindingly brilliant.

Having two of the smartest minds in the military smirk at each other like that over you was more than a little unsettling. God only knew what they were saying without words.

Something cheeky flashed through Edward's grin and he smiled at her, much softer, gentler. She knew this technique, flirting just to wind her up. Roy did it all the time… Was she really going to let Edward Elric away with that?

She felt her cheeks heating against her will and Roy smirked at the reaction.

Yes, it appeared she was.

And then it was over, Ed's face settled into an apologetic smile and he shot the Colonel a warning look to leave her alone.

Mustang shrugged, wandering off to his desk.

"Ne Riza, don't look so upset."

She managed a smile at the blonde man. He was radiating that calm powerful air he'd had on first entering. There was nothing threatening to him and she relaxed a little.

"He was winding you up to try and get to me, it backfired, I shouldn't have teased you though."

She smiled.

"It's okay… I'm used to it I suppose. You look fantastic, Major, don't slouch, you don't need to."

He grinned genuinely, as confident as he appeared he'd needed to hear it, to be certain he didn't look like a child dressing up in his father's clothing. Riza had seen that somewhere and he appreciated it.

"Thank you, Hawkeye."

He wandered back to his work, dragging his feet all the way. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy his work… given an array this complicated for anything else he'd be happy to bury himself in understanding it… But it bothered him on a personal level.

He attempted concentration for a good half an hour but admitted defeat. He couldn't work on this and keep his face straight at the same time damnit! It was taking conscious effort to keep the growing horror off his face as he dug deeper into the array.

He pushed his chair back, rising and grabbing his work.

He was halfway out the door when Roy spoke. He glowered. The bastard just had to call him on it…

"And just where do you think you're going Fullmetal?"

"Out onto the roof." Ed grunted, barely glancing back at him. "I'm taking it with me." He held up the shelf of paper. He waited just long enough to see the softening in Roy's face before turning on his heel and marching out the door. He wouldn't call him back. Might bitch for show, but he knew there was a reason now.

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"Fullmetal."

Ed tensed at his name. He knew he'd come looking for him eventually, he was late for their afterhours alchemy session.

"You can't possibly see that anymore."

It was getting dark, and he was right, Ed couldn't see it anymore. He was staring into space, surrounded by chalk marks angrily scuffed out in temper.

"What did you find?" Asked Roy quietly.

He saw the flash of moonlight off metal as Ed clenched his fist, grinding the piece of chalk in his hand to powder.

"Bastard." Ed muttered.

"Fullmetal?"

He couldn't help looking at him when the older man sat down beside him, pulling his knees up in mirror of his blonde counterpart.

"He was masking." Said Ed quietly. "We can't be certain he's in the military anymore."

"Those seals are only taught to state alchemists."

"And yet I knew at least three of them when I was ten. I used one in that transmutation. They aren't a secret, if you read enough. You pick them up from other's work."

"And you think this man read enough."

"I don't miss masking Mustang. He had me for a full three days. He reads."

Ed clenched his fist again.

"It was a lot more brutal than we thought."

Roy tensed. He'd been of the opinion that it was pretty fucking brutal already.

"How'd you find out?"

"I deconstructed the array." Ed muttered.

Roy frowned. Deconstructing an array took intense concentration. Nobody did it without good reason and most couldn't do it either way. It took massive intelligence and training.

"Why?"

"I didn't like the vibe we got off it the other night. There was something wrong… I was sensing the human control… It feels like human transmutation, one of those things you know aren't right as soon as you draw it.

Another taboo. Roy guessed. All alchemists could sense, when what they were drawing was pushing the limits of nature. Many could sense it in other's work. It was subtle, but Ed had so much experience with the idea of perverting nature that he probably had a lower threshold. Sensitised…

"Brutal how?" Asked Roy, tense.

"You don't need to know." Said Ed quietly. "Just know this is no kid and widen the search to non-military, I'm not sure anymore. Fucking lucky it didn't activate when you stepped into it."

He glanced at Roy and his eyes looked so haunted it knocked the breath out of him. What had he seen in those lines…?

"Edward."

"You don't want to know okay?" Ed snapped, reefing a hand through his hair.

"Perhaps not, but you need to tell someone before it eats you from the inside, and you won't be able to keep it off your face to tell anyone else."

The blonde tensed. It had taken Roy a few minutes to work out why Ed wanted out of the office earlier, but he'd got it eventually.

This case was rubbing them both the wrong way, for very similar reasons, but Roy wasn't examining the work, he wasn't deconstructing the bastard's array, something that all alchemists knew was a very intimate process. You had to put yourself in the other person's mind, and that couldn't be a nice place in this situation.

Ed licked his lips, looking for words.

"If that array had activated… I wouldn't have needed to rape you."

Something ice cold ran down Roy's spine.

"It would have done it for me."

His breath left him in a rush and he found he couldn't pull it back into his lungs, panicking he attempted to gasp.

"Don't gasp. Slow even breaths, you'll make it worse." Said Ed, touching his back firmly to ground him.

He did as he was told, struggling.

He was nauseated to the pit of his stomach, and it wasn't just about the idea of what could have happened in a physical sense. He clapped a hand over his mouth, concentrating and willing himself not to vomit.

Ed just continued to rub his back. It was the normal reaction, of an alchemist to perversion of nature like that. Ed counted himself lucky the other man hadn't vomited.

Eventually he got his stomach under some semblance of control and took a steadying breath.

"He raped him… with…"

"With the alchemy." Ed confirmed. Roy's stomach lurched again Ed just rubbed his back firmly.

"Sorry." He managed hoarsely once the waves of nausea eased.

"I vomited repeatedly." Ed admitted. "You've done really well."

Ed had had to touch that array… feel something so anti-human under his fingers, learn how to work it…

His stomach turned again in sympathy. He couldn't even begin to imagine. He felt filthy even hearing about it.

"Show me. I need to understand it."

Over the next hour Edward talked him through what had been done to the victim in graphic detail. Every minor detail. The bastard hadn't restricted himself to one or the other, no he'd raped them both ways…

It was the alchemy though. To do something that perverse with it… control another person so completely… There was nothing excusable about it. At all.

They were both quiet when it was done with, lost in their thoughts.

"You know… It does tell us something…"

Roy shifted to look at him.

"His victim was probably an alchemist."

Ed nodded. The bastard had gone out of his way to flaunt the use of alchemy to the victim, a pointless endeavour if the victim couldn't comprehend the full horror of the situation.

"We know something else too."

"Oh?"

"The rapist has been sodomised in the past, be it willingly or unwillingly. There was no control to protect himself from that array and we know he stepped into it."

Roy scowled.

"I don't know which is worse."

"Neither do I." Ed muttered.

They fell quiet again.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"While I appreciate the sentiment and certainly won't be subjecting any more of my staff to it, I did subject you to it. I'm sorry you had to touch it, Fullmetal… And I'm happy to shoulder some of the burden."

"You'll have nightmares." Ed muttered.

"Nightmares are a small price, for making you touch that… thing. Hardly equivalent exchange."

"You didn't know."

"I didn't, but that doesn't mean I'm done paying for it. Touching things like that… It puts a smudge on the soul."

"Then better mine than yours." Said Ed quietly. "Your soul isn't un-smudged, I know that." He said before Roy could speak. You couldn't take human life at the level the flame alchemist had during the war without damage.

"It's cleaner than mine though. It would have marked you badly."

"And you?" Roy asked.

"A drop in the ocean." Said Ed with a tired smile. "If there is a hell, my place is already reserved."

"Can there be no forgiveness?"

Ed smiled.

"For most things… To use alchemy in a war offends humanity and nature by default. That is forgivable with time and effort proportional to the life toll. You'll probably never be clean, you work for the military, but it is a different level of filth. You offended humanity where I offended alchemy itself. Offended nature directly. I cast something for which there is no equivalent exchange. This man… whoever he is, did the same. He's offended nature, but he's also offended alchemy."

"There's an exchange, for controlling another energy." Said Roy, grimacing. "It isn't nice, but it exists, I've seen it."

Ed nodded.

"There is no equivalent exchange for perverting pure alchemy though. He didn't just use the power to do wrong. He changed the touch of the alchemy itself. Alchemy is always neutral. Always. Even in human transmutation… I'm in no position to judge anyone, but in my own perverted morals what he did is even worse."

Roy nodded.

Truthfully the state of Fullmetal's soul had concerned him on an alchemical level since he'd met him. He'd known he'd paid for his sins with his soul, like all who sinned, but sin of that level… He couldn't begin to imagine the mark that left behind. It was painful, but unsurprising, to hear just how it levelled up to what the rapist had done… A drop in the ocean. Barely a ripple on an already tattered soul…

He knew, that forgivable or not, Ed was still a military official in penance. To strive for forgiveness unoffered must be horrifying.

"I'm used to it." Said Ed, reading his mind. "I was ten years old Mustang. How clear are your memories from before ten really?"

Not clear, at all. Mustang realised. He remembered things sure, but those memories all had the fuzzy lamination of something spoken about repeatedly, things he'd seen in pictures. His true memories of that time were few he suspected.

"Not very clear."

"Did you self-teach, before Hawkeye's father took you on?"

"Yes."

"So one of the first things you clasped at was probably self-examination."

"Yes." He nodded. There was a lot of research into the matter. Left to teach themselves all alchemists began with attempting to understand their own souls, a foolhardy path, it was impossible without years of training and then still questionable. It was what was natural though it seemed.

"I first examined my soul at seven." Ed said softly. "And I, like just about every other self-teach, convinced myself I understood it all and left it be. I was perhaps a little more confident than the norm, all seven year olds are the smartest people in the world." He smiled wryly.

Roy laughed softly. He could almost see it… He'd met Ed at eleven, just after he'd had that unshakable confidence knocked right out of him, but his demeanour even then said that at seven he'd been the best alchemist on the planet in his own mind.

"How much do you think I understood?"

"Nothing." Said Roy without hesitation.

"Nothing." Ed agreed. "And the next time I looked…"

Roy's breath caught. The next time he'd looked he'd already destroyed it.

"Not understanding was a gift. It means I can never totally comprehend what I lost. I can see the damage, touch it, but I have nothing to read it against. I can measure myself to an extent against what I sense of others… That's how I know, how much damage I've done… It makes sense when you think about it… It's why your guilt over your sins increases as you age."

"It increases with your understanding of your soul." Said Roy, getting it. He's never really thought about it before but it was true. His guilt over the war now was one hundred times worse than it had been at the time.

"Exactly. It's why what this guy did." Ed gestured to the array. "Can hurt me so badly, when even looking at my soul I know it can barely even touch me… Given my shoddy understanding on what my soul is… That makes this…" He gestured again. "Disgusting."

Roy nodded, getting it… It all clicked together and he had that feeling… That he finally understood one of life and alchemy's most important lessons.

Ed seemed to get it and smiled a little to himself as he stared into space, lost in his thoughts.

They were quiet well into the darkened hours, the vague suggestions of stars in central's foggy skyline enough to tell Ed how late it was when he was tapped on the shoulder.

"You're shivering." Said Roy simply.

Ed sighed.

"It's the damn automail." He muttered. "S'not even cold out." He grumbled.

"It gets cold."

"It's metal, dumbass." Ed snarked, brushing his metal arm against Roy's hand to illustrate.

Roy gasped in shock at the sudden cold. It was frigid.

"It gets up the metal and into the connections. I don't feel it happening."

"That's a really fast way to pick up hypothermia."

"I know. I've done it three times." Said Ed, pushing himself to his feet heavily.

He looked at the ground before clapping and returning the piece of chalk to a whole from the lines on the stone before smartly crushing it in his palm to powder once more. Roy held his tongue. He wouldn't want that particular piece of chalk either.

He stood, rotating his stiff shoulder as he waited for Roy to rise heavily to his feet.

"Lets get out of here."

Roy shook his head.

"Have a cup of coffee first, you're still shaking Fullmetal."

Ed relented without much complaint. He really was freezing. The heavy military uniform did nothing for automail induced shivers.

The building was quiet, when they entered through the fire escape. They had a bit of a walk back to the office. Choosing the fire escape closest to the office would have resulted in company much sooner. Ed hadn't wanted to be found.

They met a few officers on their travels, all of which saluted to the Colonel and the major. A few said hello to Ed before remembering their salute. Roy absently wondered how much time the other man spent in the building in the dead of night, to know the late shift so well.

He stopped to talk twice, the first time was to speak a young male officer, to back out of coffee plans during the man's break later. Their behaviour was genuinely friendly and Roy was actually very pleased to see it. Edward kept himself to himself just as Roy did himself, but he was pleased to know he had friends in the building. Roots were something Fullmetal struggled with badly. He knew the man still hadn't really a home…

They wandered on and Ed willingly offered up a little information.

"Kyle's one of the junior librarians. Got landed with the nightshift about nine months ago. They only keep one at night. He's not assigned to the alchemy division, but he knows more about it than any of those lazy bastards on the dayshift."

Roy frowned. He hadn't seen a watch.

"He's not trained." Ed offered, reading the frown easily. "His grandmother is Lilia Noone though."

Roy's mouth fell open in shock.

"You know who she is then?"

"Of course I do!" Roy snarked, rolling his eyes.

"I met her last month."

"No way!"

"Rotten in her old age. Fucking _marvellous_ alchemist though. That hasn't changed. Took me a solid two days just to prove I was worthy of her conversation. Apparently she was lovely in her younger years. Doted on Kyle. She tried to teach him, he can't cast."

Roy nodded. It was something that just happened… It didn't matter how much training some souls got, they just couldn't activate an array. It was unfortunate but just how it worked.

"Have you worked out why he can't cast?" Asked Roy, knowing the other man would have looked at it.

"He can't deal with the physical properties. Can't sense the elements."

"That makes sense. Your ability with physical dictates strength."

Ed nodded.

"It's just frustrating. He's full of knowledge he can't use. His wife is pretty handy though. Certainly not state level but good. She runs a repair shop."

Roy nodded. He knew what that was… Acknowledgement of curiosity. He hadn't just met Fullmetal's lover. Protection for his friend in equal parts. The military was a harsh place for homosexuals.

The second time he stopped to talk Roy himself had stopped first, to have a conversation with brigadier general Lee. Ed had plucked a large book from the hands of a woman walking the other way.

She glowered but it morphed into a smile as she recognised him.

Anna Caroline, one of the three female state alchemists in the entire military. Roy had never met her before. Ed obviously knew her well though, accepting the cheerful teasing about his new uniform easily. She'd been stationed in the East since before Roy had graduated. He hadn't even known she was in central… It explained how Ed knew her though. East city and Ed's confidence? He'd bet his life Ed had written to her as a child. That or she knew Hoenheim, though Ed tended to reject anything attached to his father.

They were still chattering when Roy said goodbye to brigadier general Lee. Anna had handed the blonde man a crumpled bit of paper that he was drawing on as she fed him information for the array that was taking shape.

She yelped in excitement as he finally put his finger on the right line, taking the pen and paper and finishing it rapidly. Ed watched carefully, examining before nodding as he understood the full extent of what she'd been looking for.

"Thanks Ed. Breakfast on me this week, yes?" She kissed his cheek excitedly before taking off down the hall in a rush of research.

Ed shook his head, an amused smile playing on his lips before returning his attention to Mustang.

"Any interest whatsoever?" Asked Roy, a vaguely amused note in his voice.

"None." Ed offered. "Shame right?"

"Shame." Roy agreed. "She's beautiful."

Ed chuckled.

"She wouldn't look twice at you. You're too highly ranked. The military's fucked her over repeatedly for being a woman."

Roy nodded. The military, and particularly the state alchemist's division, were completely sexist. Caroline was one of the most powerful alchemists in the military and they refused to promote her to even head of the east alchemical department.

No shock then that she had little time for most of the male alchemist population.

"Did you write her as a child?"

"How'd you know that?!"

"You're predictable full metal."

Ed scowled.

His face cleared as he thought of something.

"You should come to breakfast whenever it happens. You'll be useful."

"You're working on something together?"

"I've worked with Anna since I was eight, we just don't do it through any military approved lines."

"Of course you don't." Said Roy rolling his eyes. Why was he even surprised? Ed was, at the heart of it, a researcher, of course he was working with one of the most powerful alchemists in the military. It'd be ridiculous to know anything else.

It was shocking him though… How little he knew about this man. When Ed was running around trying to retrieve his brother's body, yes, he'd known quite a lot, because it had been with single minded determination. This Ed, yes he went on missions but he had a life, one Roy was not privy to it would seem.

He was looking forward to learning a little more truthfully.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

 **A/N: Sorry about the delay!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _So this chapter is totally devoted to the growth of Edward's and Roy's relationship. It also introduces an Ed/character-that-isn't-Roy interaction. It's actually very important to where this story goes in the future. Ed/Roy is still the main ship have no fear, but this pairing will be present in the background._

 **OoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Do you ever go home?" Asked Roy as he closed the office door.

Ed looked up at the blunt question.

He decided it deserved an honest answer.

"I'm not much of a sleeper." He admitted. "I can function on four to five hours quite comfortably, and I work better at night."

"So that's a no then."

"I try to go home between three and work start at nine."

"So what time is breakfast?" Asked Roy sceptically.

"Between three and four… Anna's only been here two months. She needs access to central's library for a project. I tend to just crash in the dorms in that case."

"That doesn't sound healthy."

"This place is a lot friendlier to research at night… Before Al left for Xing I went home a lot more, but now…"

"Now your friends are within military walls, at least after hours."

"Well… Yeah." Ed shrugged.

Roy was silent a minute and Ed almost thought the conversation over, sipping his coffee, before Roy spoke quietly.

"I'm glad you're finally putting down some roots."

"I'm pretty shit at it." Ed agreed. "Central is becoming my home… I'm not sure if I like it or not yet."

"Home being central, or having a home?"

"Having a home." Ed admitted. "I've survived without one until now… and I want to travel again."

"You're concerned about the ties."

"I think it will hurt more, this time."

"It probably will, you've always been a nomad… I don't think anything could hold you still to be honest, no matter what the ties. You should look at it more positively. You have people to write to now, beyond family. You have a reason to come home. A safe place."

"I know those are good things." Ed acknowledged.

"Do you want out, after this case?"

Ed looked up sharply.

"If you want a long haul I'll throw you one. It won't be too long, not our specialisation, but I can get you out for a month or two?"

"If you can spare me I'd like that." Ed admitted.

"I'm not going to lie and say it isn't a pain in my arse." Roy admitted. "But I know I get off very easily for having an alchemist among my officers. That usually isn't allowed. There's no point to making you unhappy for the sake of a month or so fullmetal. I'll cut you loose. Expect the worst long haul I have in my possession though."

"I wouldn't expect anything else." Said Ed with a ghost of a smile.

He glanced at the door, checking it remained closed, before speaking again.

"When'd it end with Lee?"

Roy jumped visibly, hackles rising in response to the question. A moment later he relaxed slightly. In anyone else's hands that question was enough to ruin his career. In Ed's hands it was just genuine curiosity.

"It isn't all that obvious at all." Ed offered soothingly. "I'm reading into things because I possess more information than the norm."

Roy swallowed around the lump in his throat, levelling his voice to ask the question.

"How did you know?"

"I'd actually noticed it before." Ed admitted. "You cross your arms when you speak to him. Everyone takes it as standoff-ish, but it's actually protection. I hadn't the context to see that before more recent conversations."

"You know accusing a general of homosexuality is enough to get you shot?" Asked Roy mildly.

Ed smiled a little.

"I do, but I'm not accusing. He's made it quite clear himself."

Dark eyes shot around to look at him.

"I turned him down." Ed said, scrubbing his face. "Unhappy or not he has a wife and two very young children. I don't ruin marriages. I know what that does to kids."

Roy knew immediately that he was talking about his own unhappy upbringing.

"He actually propositioned you?"

"Yes." Ed admitted, frowning. "That's odd?"

"Lee is common knowledge, among those in a position to know."

"You find out after you've incriminated yourself." Ed agreed.

"He usually waits for people to come to him these days. He was quite taken with you, to step forward and take that risk."

"I thought so too." Ed agreed. "Has he always been like that?"

He already knew the answer but wanted to know more.

"No." Roy stated. "He's gotten more and more careful. A combination of marriage and rank."

"You were together before that then."

"Ishaval." Roy said quietly.

"You were only a kid." Said Ed, already knowing where this was going.

"A sergeant." Roy agreed. "A year in the military. The general was a major at the time."

Roy shook his head.

"We couldn't bring it home, I know that now, but I lashed out at the time. He was harsh with me. While I have no interest today I'd imagine it does still colour our interactions."

"He was mean."

"Crueller than was necessary. He's apologised since then."

"Cruelty from fear, rather than from malice."

"That's it exactly." Roy confirmed with a slight nod. "I was only a child."

"You were only a couple of years younger than I am now." Ed reminded.

"You've been in the military since you were twelve fullmetal. You're aware you've served longer than three quarters of the current colonels and almost half the current generals?"

"I haven't been a child since my mother's death." Ed conceded.

"It's why you said no."

Ed inclined his head in agreement. It really was. There was no denying Lee was an attractive man, and he was truly quite kind as far as the generals went. Ed genuinely liked him. It was only his experience with the man eating machine that was the military, and his own unhappy childhood that had kept him clear of that situation. Sleeping with a general would get him thrown in prison when it went rotten. Lee would throw him to the dogs if it meant his own career was unharmed and Ed knew that, where fresh faced, naïve Roy Mustang hadn't. It was hard, to align his commanding officer with someone who could be so easily hurt like that. Who didn't understand how the system worked and how unforgiving it was.

"I think, in a way… Growing up in the military afforded me a lot of slack." Said Ed, scuffing his toe off the ground as he thought.

"I'm trying to imagine what it would have been like… To arrive here from idyllic Resembool at eighteen. It would have been pretty awful…"

"I don't know. You spent your teenage years under a microscope."

"Ah. But I knew by fourteen that the military chews up and spits out men like me. I wouldn't have known that arriving at eighteen. I may have heard, but I wouldn't have understood it. I would have said yes to Lee, just like you did."

Roy nodded with a sigh.

"You knew, at fourteen?"

"I'd admitted it to myself at fourteen. I knew at twelve."

He spotted the look.

"It's not hard to spot. You're at least somewhat bisexual I'm assuming?"

Roy nodded.

"I'm not. It becomes pretty clear pretty fast."

A slight grin touched Roy's lips.

"Who?"

"Pardon?"

"Who did you crush on at twelve years old?"

"No way Mustang! I'm not telling you that!"

"Was it me?"

"No."

"Then it was someone I know. You're too defensive. Tell me."

"It's mortifying."

"It can't be that bad. Twelve year old crushes are all about inspiration and hero worship."

"It can."

"I'll share if you do."

"No way! Your first crush was probably a perfectly respectable female. Didn't you live with Hawkeye?"

Roy gaped.

"See!?" Said Ed amused. "No way Mustang, that's not equivalent exchange."

"Alright first male crush."

"I won't know them." Ed countered.

"Alright alright first male partner."

Ed pulled up short.

"It wasn't Lee?"

Roy snorted.

"I was a teenager once upon a time."

"Do I know them?"

"Perhaps. Spill. Who taught you you were gay?"

"Maes." Ed muttered, burying his face in his hands as Roy burst out laughing.

Ed's ears reddened. He'd never heard Mustang laugh like that before. The most he'd ever heard was a short sharp burst of amusement. This was full on belly laughs, and while it was a nice sound it only made Ed groan. It was at his expense.

Roy seemed to get it and got his laughter under control.

"Sorry." He gasped. "Sorry. But could you have gone with more of a parental figure?"

"Fuck you Mustang." Ed snapped, turning away.

"Hey. Hey! Ed I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. You just caught me by surprise. I mean I was expecting Havoc, or maybe Furey."

Ed glowered at the floor.

"Actually… Maes was a kind of sweet choice."

Ed glanced his way before turning away again.

"My first male crush was Tazman Harkins, and you're right, you don't know him. He was Hawkeye's first boyfriend."

Ed's eyes popped open.

"Yeah. Talk about stupid. She found out too."

"So Hawkeye knows?"

"No. It was put down to being a kid. She's always been more suspicious for it though. My first partner was Brigadier general Mathers."

Ed's eyebrows shot up.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I did, he just didn't hit me as your type."

Roy shrugged.

"What about you?"

"Can't you guess?"

Roy frowned.

"I should be able to?"

"I would have thought so… Maybe not. Ling."

Roy's jaw fell open.

"You are joking!"

"I'm not you know." Said Ed with a shrug.

"But that means!"

"I was just barely fifteen." Ed agreed. "Ling was sixteen, though he looked older. We were as illegal as each other."

"How the hell did I miss that?" Asked Roy, rubbing his face.

"I can be pretty subtle when I feel like it." Said Ed defensively.

"Evidently." Said Roy. "I was… 100% convinced he was straight."

Ed snorted.

"He is, or so he'll tell you. We were horny teenagers Mustang."

Roy snorted.

"Oh like you didn't do just as bad if not worse."

"True." Roy conceded. "This conversation never leaves this room fullmetal."

"Of course." Said Ed rolling his eyes.

"Most men are like Ling." He offered. "Given the right partner."

Ed nodded without thinking.

"I genuinely can't tell you." He offered at the raised eyebrow.

Direct subordinate then, which actually made whichever member of his team it was Ed's direct subordinate too.

"Was it worth it?"

"It was fun, and we just waved it off." Said Ed with an easy shrug.

"I was sleeping with Miles, while we were sorting out Ishaval."

"I already knew, though I'd written it off as innocent." Ed offered with a half-smile. "Caught him leaving one night. I'm actually surprised he never told you."

"Obviously you didn't seem like all that much of a threat." Roy mused. "I must ask though, if we ever cross paths again."

"It was a friendly parting then?"

"Neither of us were under any illusions. It was never anything serious."

Ed shrugged, sitting up on his desk and swinging his legs.

"Have you ever had a serious relationship?" Mustang asked, curious.

"Define serious."

"Long term, genuine care, not necessarily monogamy. A partner."

"One." Ed admitted. "It's nothing serious. Just something that…"

"Happens." Roy supplied.

"Exactly. Do you favour either way?"

Roy frowned thoughtfully.

"I find both the male and female forms attractive. Probably to the same level. I tend towards men long term and women for shorter encounters. I do favour that way I suppose. What about you?"

"I'm pretty fundamentally gay…"

"But you've slept with at least one woman."

"One." He agreed. "I don't… reject the female form, that isn't how it works. I'm kind of… immune to it almost."

"So this woman has one hell of a personality."

"You could say that." Said Ed amused.

"You're very fond of her."

"I am." Ed agreed. "She's been my only long term partner."

"A woman?!"

"Funny how things happen." Ed agreed. "I tend to choose the unobtainable, it's not surprising."

"Does she know?"

"We've never had an overt conversation about it, but I'm pretty sure she knows. She doesn't mind."

"Why not?"

"Because it's irrelevant."

Roy's eyes narrowed.

"This isn't Miss Rockabell then."

Ed laughed genuinely.

"Nah, she'll marry Al, if he ever gets his act together. How'd you guess it wasn't Winry?"

"She's too attached to you, and it's too rooted in your childhood. What you're describing isn't attachment like that."

"No. It's a friends with benefits situation I suppose. It's just steam, does that make sense?"

Roy nodded. He had more than one partner he'd go to to let off steam.

"Why pick a gay man?" Said Roy thinking. "You can let off steam with any willing partner."

"I have other attributes." Said Ed frowning at the other man.

"Of course you do, I'm just trying to pick on which ones she'd like and in what combination that she can't get elsewhere."

Ed waited.

"No strings, massively powerful, stupidly argumentative, extremely discreet."

"You're on the right track."

"There are plenty of men in the military like that."

"Maybe she can't have a military man." Ed offered.

"But you are military- She's in a position of power." Roy answered himself.

It all clicked together at once.

"Olivier Armstrong?!"

Ed shrugged.

"Wow." Said Roy scratching his head with an amused smile. "That makes so little sense and so much sense all at once…"

"It does?"

"It's perfect in some ways. She's never going to settle down, ever. She's basically designated herself asexual among the briggs ranks because they're her officers. You both love a challenge. The only thing off about it is your sexuality but if you can put that aside it actually makes a massive amount of sense."

Roy smiled a wicked smile.

"What's she going to have to say about your new uniform?"

Ed snorted.

"Please. I haven't been allowed step foot in Briggs without a uniform since I hit majority. She's a lot faster imposing martial law than you lot. No doubt it will involve something about you finally making me your bitch." He rolled his eyes and Roy choked on a laugh. That was _exactly_ what Olivier would say.

"You know her well. How long is this going on?"

"Since I turned eighteen."

"You never ask to go North."

"It's not like that." Ed shrugged. "And even if it was I wouldn't need to. You're always sending me out there because everyone else is shit scared of her."

Roy snorted, genuinely amused.

"It's a long time since I sent you North last."

"About a year." Ed agreed.

Roy nodded, thinking. Ed knew his mind was on his current cases awaiting attention.

"I've got nothing." Roy admitted. "First case in you're going."

"You won't be doing me any favours if you hold off on a case on her waiting for me to return from another."

"Possibly not. First you're available for then. Olivier Armstrong." He muttered shaking his head in amusement. "You don't do anything by half do you?"

Ed rolled his eyes, yawning and checking his watch.

"It's late."

"No shit Mustang. It's three in the morning."

"Bed time."

"I'm going to crash in the dorms. You should too." Ed stated. "Your house is a thirty minute drive. Not worth your while."

Roy grimaced.

"Don't you have your own private dorm?"

"I waved it." Roy admitted. "I never sleep here and they're always short for higher ranks."

"Maybe there'll be a few empty, never know."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Occupied. Almost all of them.

"How'd you know that one would be open?" Asked Roy quietly.

"I always sleep in the same one. People leave it open for me if they can." Ed admitted. "It's two bed, if you want in, better than joining one of the eight beds."

Roy shuddered at the very idea.

"Thanks fullmetal."

"Hey, it's not actually my room."

"Except it is, for all intents and purposes." Roy countered. "If the officers leave it vacant for you it's been written off as yours."

Ed shrugged easily.

He kicked off his shoes as he entered, padding across the room in the darkness.

Roy just about saw him reach the back, flicking a switch and flooding the room with the fluorescent light of the bathroom.

He pulled his hair down, absently running his fingers through it before tiredly fumbling buttons.

Roy turned away to examine the bed, unwilling to tempt himself. One was rumpled. There was a blonde hair on the pillow that marked it as Ed's usual choice. A book on the locker said that despite his arguing Ed was pretty sure the room wouldn't be disturbed.

Light the fire, I'm closing the door and the bulb is gone in the overhead. Ed called.

"Why don't you call maintenance?"

"It's just a bulb. I keep meaning to get one."

Ed let him move to the fire before closing the door with a soft snick. The shower started a moment later.

He was fast. It was the shower of a man who had never used it as his place of thought or solitude. Ed had never had the time…

He clapped as he left the bathroom, removing the water from his hair. He smiled slightly. Roy had stolen his book and was reading by light of the fire.

"It's all yours if you want it." Ed tossed his head back towards the bathroom. "Cleaning put fresh towels in."

Roy jumped, slamming the book closed.

"It's kind of cool, right?" Ed referred to the text.

"Pointless, but amusing nonetheless."

"Not pointless." Said Ed with a smile. "No alchemy is ever pointless."

"But why would people go to the effort of learning it? It's so complicated."

"That's why." Said Ed with a smile. "It isn't about making stained glass. It's about the level of skill it requires. Those transmutations are among the most complex taught as a trade in amestris. They're damn near impossible. To a craftsman they're a livelihood. To a state alchemist just a fun way to test yourself. I've been failing hard for two months now."

"Really?" Asked Roy surprised.

"They seem straight forward, until you try to draw them or make your own." Ed offered. "I can manage the basics but can't throw in any alterations. Apparently it's about the way a trained alchemist thinks. All the craftsmen and women learn this as their primary alchemy, and even then women are roughly twice as successful as men."

"That's incredible."

Ed shrugged a bare shoulder.

"I'm going to sleep. Don't stay up to long. You don't hit me as a four hour kind of guy."

"Excuse me?" Said Roy amused.

"You don't miss out on your beauty sleep- Ow!"

Roy had smacked his arm with the heavy book.

Roy's smirk was dangerously close to a smile and it made Ed smile in return, shaking his head.

"Night Mustang."

Ed crawled in to bed as Roy headed into the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later Roy collapsed into his bed, pulling on a glove he clicked, lowering the fire to warming embers.

"Cheers." Said Ed sleepily, only half awake.

"Goodnight full metal."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Mustang." Ed whispered. "Mustang…"

Nothing.

"Roy." He whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly.

He barely had time to gasp before finding himself pinned to the mattress, an arm at his throat.

"Woah. Hey it's just me!" He choked out.

All traces of sleep disappeared from Roy's eyes immediately and he withdrew the arm from where it was squishing the blonde's wind pipe.

"Sorry."

"S'okay. I should have known that'd happen." Said Ed rubbing his throat and sitting up a little.

Roy deflated, sitting down on the edge of the bed again.

"I'm sorry." He apologised again.

"Not your fault. That was pretty impressive Mustang. "I hadn't a chance."

"Paranoid." Roy muttered to himself, shaking his head.

"Don't." Said Ed touching his shoulder. "Really. I'm okay. I'm pretty damn paranoid too. You're a seriously heavy sleeper."

"Maes joked that I could sleep through a raid when we were in Ishaval."

"I'm the complete opposite. Drives Liv nuts."

"Why?"

"Briggs is never quiet. I never sleep through. You talk in your sleep you know."

"I what?" Said Roy surprised.

"You hadn't anything interesting to say, just gobbledygook. I had a feeling you didn't know."

"Why?"

"It had all the markings of deep REM, and you probably would have warned me."

"Hmm. I'm still surprised nobody's ever told me that before."

"I think it's a deep rest thing. You were dog tired last night. How often have you shared a room with another person that tired and slept that deeply?"

Roy thought about it. He had slept like a log actually, and fullmetal was right, that wasn't something that normally happened with company in combination with that exhaustion.

"You're probably right." Roy conceded. "Did I keep you up?"

"I woke the first couple of times. Tuned it out after that. It's half seven by the way. That's why I was waking you. You arrive at work for eight don't you?"

"Yeah." Said Roy, rubbing his face. "I'll go in for quarter to nine. The only person that knows that is you, because you're usually in the canteen when I go looking for caffeine. Quarter to nine is plenty of time to head Hawkeye off."

"Oh. You could probably go back to sleep a while then."

"We missed dinner. We should go for breakfast when it starts properly at eight."

As if on demand Ed's stomach rumbled.

"Sounds like a plan." He said, wincing with a slight blush.

Roy fell quiet and it took Ed a minute to realise what had his attention.

He was examining the automail, face completely open in his curiosity. He'd forgotten Ed was there completely despite the fact that it was his arm he examined.

It didn't really bother the blonde. Most people were curious about it, and Roy'd never been up close with it before. It was the meeting of skin and metal that seemed to hold most of his attention. His eyes mapped the scars that crept from beneath the metal. Lingered on the connective bolts.

His eyes gradually travelled a little higher and he jumped, wincing badly when he realised he'd been staring.

"The bolts twist into sockets drilled into my collarbone." Said Ed, making the older man's head snap up. "The sockets themselves are secured with a type of cement. The burring is one of the worst parts of the operation. Most of the scarring is actually from that." Ed admitted. "The bolts themselves can twist out. You need a wrench to do it. The nerve connection is the bit that hurts like a bitch if something goes wrong. These things here." He pointed at a series of metal tubes. "I'm due an upgrade soon."

"You are?"

"I've been putting it off. I haven't had a brand new automail since I was sixteen. It's just over an inch too short." He held both his arms out to illustrate.

"Why wait so long. You stopped growing years ago."

"A combination. I've been busy, besides, I like this arm and Winry is attempting perfection with the new model. I'll change my leg first."

"You've had that lengthened."

"I'd walk with a real limp otherwise." Ed agreed. "It was a temporary fix though, they're more necessary when you automail a kid, especially a kid's leg, because they grow so fast. I need a new model still. Apart from anything else this one isn't designed to take the weight of a grown man."

"Why put it off?"

"It hurts a lot worse to remove than the arm." Ed admitted. "The nerves are a bit dicier and I do it less often so I'm pretty sensitive to it. It's a bigger deal than my arm personally too. It involves Winry getting… fairly up close and personal. I've always hesitated over it. I lost my whole leg, right up to the hip."

He pulled down the elastic of his boxers just a little to flash the metal. Winry gets very very nervous working that high."

Probably understandable, Roy acknowledged mentally. If Ed had lost his whole femur then the bolting was probably pretty extreme in location.

"How did she secure it?" Asked Roy frowning. "The outer thigh is secured to your upper pelvis but that doesn't work for the inner."

"Titanium plate." Ed replied. "Feat of genius if you ask a gear head about it. Win is good at what she does."

Roy nodded, eyes wandering back to the meeting of skin and metal.

"You can touch it if you like."

Roy jumped.

"I prefer, that people ask about it. "If nothing else it's safer for me, for people to have a vague idea of how it works. Makes me feel like less of a freak too." He said quietly.

Roy carefully touched the metal.

His surprise must have shown in his face.

"The places in constant contact with skin are usually quite warm." Ed supplied.

He flexed each finger so Roy could trace the movement of the suspension.

Roy's attention was drawn back to the meeting spot.

"You should be able to slip a finger under the edge where it meets skin- yes." Ed agreed when he felt the finger.

"It's a strange sensation. I'm not used to feeling anything in that arm." Ed offered. "I can send motor orders to the hand, but I don't receive any sensory input. That's why I'm always breaking things."

"It's heavy." Roy agreed.

"Tell me about it. I've hit myself in the face more than once."

"So how do I fix it? If the nerves pinch? That's the biggest problem right?"

"Winry built in a disconnect because of how many times it was happening by force. It's a series, so that I can't do it by accident."

Roy watched intently as Ed walked him through how to do it. This was something that was truly worth knowing. The pain was excruciating when the blonde trapped a nerve.

It was complicated, purposely, but three walk-throughs later Roy had it.

"Thanks for learning." Said Ed quietly.

"Thank you for sharing. I did attack you…"

"I asked for it." Said Ed with a half-smile, rubbing the back of his head. "We should go get breakfast."

Roy nodded. It was getting late.

"We should."

OoOoOoOoOoOo


End file.
